Most Al-Anon family group meetings are thematic discussion meetings. This means that the person presiding over the meeting, the chairperson, chooses a topic related to the experience of dealing with friends or family members who have alcohol problems. Sometimes the chairperson will ask if anyone in the group has a topic they want to discuss in the group.
After choosing a topic, the participants in the meeting can share their experience, strength, and hope for that particular topic.
Here are some of the topics that seem to be of most interest to new members of the Al-Anon family group, or people who want to learn more about the program and learn how to deal with friends or relatives with alcohol use disorders.
Regarding living with alcoholics, how did you learn to distinguish between the things that can be changed and the things that cannot be changed? Discuss what it means to you to accept your powerlessness with alcohol.
Alcoholism is a disease
Viewing alcoholism as a disease can help you understand how alcoholics go through cycles of swearing to abstain from drinking but returning to the same habits a few days later. Explore that topic.
Deal with anger
You may receive mixed messages about anger in the family. You were told to control your anger, but other people in the family were allowed to explode violently? In Al-Anon, you will learn that anger is a natural and normal emotion. It’s okay to be angry, but the important thing is how you deal with anger will have an impact.
The opening speech of the Al-Anon conference said: “Much depends on our own attitude. When we learn to look at the problem from a true perspective, we will find that it has lost the power to dominate our thoughts and lives.” Attitude dominates your life?
Coping with change
The principles you learned in the Al-Anon family group can help you cope with changes in your life—sometimes major changes. You may not be able to change any situation, but you can change your attitude towards the situation.
You have a choice. You must accept what you cannot change. You don’t have to accept unacceptable behavior. You have the right to make the decision that best suits your interests-decide not to avoid alcoholism and stay away from quarrels and arguments. And decided not to participate in the madness of others. Do you have the courage to make such a decision?
Do you have control problems? If you intervene and try to solve problems for others, you deprive them of their dignity to make mistakes and learn from them. Are you learning to “let go to God”?
Have the courage to change
For those who grew up in alcoholic families, the courage to change is not innate. You may find yourself at ease in relationships that are not only unhealthy but also very sick. In order to change all of this, you must seek courage from the outside.
Deal with the crisis
Are you able to cope with major crises, but find yourself driven mad by small daily crises?
Are you frustrated by blatantly denying that your loved ones with alcohol use disorder will not admit that their actions are causing problems, harming and destroying others? Did you know that it is not your job to convince that person they deny that it is not your job to give it to a force stronger than you?
Learning how to separate can be difficult. When a person with alcohol use disorder is in crisis, do you want to rush in to save the situation? This may be the exact opposite of the steps you should take to get the person up to the point of seeking help.
Some of the things you do to help a person with alcohol use disorder are what enables that person to continue to perform dysfunctional behaviors.
Are your expectations completely unreasonable when you are dealing with a loved one who has an alcohol use disorder? Before you learn to adjust your expectations closer to reality, you may disappoint and frustrate yourself.
Emptiness is the loneliness that comes from living with someone who is not “out there” and trying to love someone. A person who doesn’t care about anything but alcohol. Have you tried to fill this gap with something unhealthy?
You may have come to Al-Anon and think that people with alcohol use disorder are the only people who exhibit crazy behavior. However, when you focus on yourself, you may realize that some of your actions and thoughts are also inconsistent. This is why they call alcoholism a family disease.
Fear of being abandoned
Are you afraid or even afraid of being alone or abandoned? Will you stick to a relationship at all costs, no matter how unhealthy or harmful, because you are afraid that you will never have another one?
Focus on yourself
One of Al-Anon’s 12 traditions states that we have no opinion on external issues. The drinking or behavior of other people is an external issue. How do you focus on your mental recovery journey and not on the behavior of other people?
Before you can be forgiven, you must first forgive, which seems to be one of those “spiritual truths.” God seems to always do this, put the ball on your court and wait for you to take the first step. God does not ask you to “feel” to forgive, but only asks you to forgive.By doing this, by taking the first step, or even just forging it until you flatten it, then God will be able to give You have a tolerant heart.
Do you find yourself feeling sorry for yourself?One suggestion is to sit down Write Make a thank you list. Surprisingly, this can really dispel the haze.
Grow day by day
Are you doing your Al-Anon plan every day? Do you see how this can enable you to make progress, or at least prevent the worst backward slide?
Do you have trouble with the honest part of the program? After years of covering up and keeping secrets, it may be difficult to be open and honest.
Keep things simple
This may sound like a cliché, but there is a lot of wisdom in the advice to keep it simple.
Let go and let god
When living with alcoholics and dealing with many other things, are you practicing the principles of letting go and letting God let go?
Live and let live
It’s okay to learn to live without being around alcoholics. This may be a new field. How can you learn to live and make life?
Take care of you
When you first started to take care of yourself and solve problems, you didn’t contribute much to the chaos and confusion. People with alcohol use disorders may stop responding to your efforts to control them. You will not stop them from drinking, but your situation and attitude will change.
Take care of your own business
In Al-Anon, it’s not your business for others to drink, you are no Be responsible for the choices of others. The shame and embarrassment caused by their actions do not belong to you, but to them. If they decide to make a choice that is “unfavorable” to them, it does not reflect how good your parents, friends, spouse or guarantor are.
They have the right to make their own mistakes and hope to learn from them. You can only do your part and share your experience, strength and hope at the right time.
once a day
The “one day at a time” slogan sounds like another overused cliché, but to remind yourself not to live in the past or plan for the future, but to deal with the here and now, there is indeed a lot of wisdom.
When you came to Al-Anon, you probably never thought about what you can do, what you can do to wake up the alcoholic and finally admit that there is a problem. The first step is to admit that you can’t do anything about alcohol.
Is it difficult for you to deal with any form of rejection? Do you have to find a way to resolve differences?
Step 2 says that we begin to believe that a force stronger than ourselves can restore our sanity. Have you accepted the fact that you are crazy and need help? Or do you still think that only alcoholics are lunatics?
Do you have self-confidence or feel that you really belong to your own problems?
When you live with someone who has an alcohol use disorder, you may become addicted to excitement. Crisis, problems, sadness, abuse, confusion, everything except boredom. How can you accept the gift of peace?
When you first enter Al-Anon, trust is an issue. All lies, betrayals and secrets will break and harden your heart. Have you learned to trust yourself and others?
Understanding and encouragement
Part of Al-Anon’s main purpose is to “provide understanding and encouragement” for your loved ones with alcohol use disorders:
It said in the opening speech of the Al-Anon conference: “Our ideas have become distorted by trying to forcibly resolve them, and we unknowingly become irritable and unreasonable.” You can really become unreasonable or even unreasonable. do you know?
Dealing with verbal abuse
When “sickness” screams on your face, it’s hard to separate! When people with alcohol use disorder blame, curse, anger, dominate, manipulate or control, this makes “separation from love” almost impossible. In these episodes, how did you learn to separate?