If you are grieving over the death of your spouse or close family member, now is not the time to make major life decisions. According to the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Scale, also known as the Social Adjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), the death of a loved one is one of the most stressful events a person may experience.
Considering the mental and physical harm that death may cause to survivors, this is far from the best time to make a serious decision.
Big decision to wait
In particular, if possible, any major changes during the mourning period should be avoided.
Move to new home
If you are considering selling your house or moving because of the death of a loved one, you should postpone this decision for at least six months, if possible, because you may also be experiencing other stressors.
Finding a new place, selling an existing home, packing and actually moving into a new home usually proves to be a daunting task at all times. Except that you have suffered severe physical, emotional, mental or spiritual damage after losing your loved one, and you have had to complete many tasks after the death of your loved one, moving house may not be what you want to do at this time.
Although moving may be tempted to evade reminders of your deceased relatives, moving may not be in your best interest financially. After a few months or after the property of your loved one is settled, it is entirely possible that you will have a different view of your life or financial situation. Therefore, if you can, avoid making a hasty decision.
Discard personal belongings
If you used to say or do something that you regret later in an emotional moment, then you should believe that now is not the time to throw away your lover’s souvenirs, souvenirs, photos, and other reminders, even if these items cause sadness And tears, and your sadness feels the freshest.
Once dragged to the side of the road and taken away, these irreplaceable tangible connections between you and your loved ones will disappear foreverTherefore, you should postpone throwing away any objects related to your loved ones when you are sad.
Over time, maybe six months or a year, when you begin to adjust to life after losing a loved one, you may feel differently. At least, over time, you may feel better to evaluate what you really want to keep and what you want to throw away.
If you can’t stand these physical reminders at all right now, consider boxing them and storing them in spare rooms, garages, basements, friends’ houses, or even rented storage units to remove them from your living space.
Later, when things calm down, you can view these items. Maybe having friends or family around to help you complete these projects in the future may also be helpful.
Unfortunately, when employees return to work after the death of a loved one, companies often fail to respond as employees think. Many times, many grieving people find it difficult to return to work and consider quitting, looking for a new job, or changing careers.
Although many factors can cause this feeling, you should try to postpone your resignation, find a new employer, or change your career for at least six months.
Again, although your sadness feels the freshest, you may not be able to think normally because of your higher and more sensitive emotional state. Therefore, once you have some time to adjust to your loss, you can reassess whether the employer/career change is the most meaningful for you to move forward.
Significant financial changes
For many people, the death of a loved one often forces survivors to assume a new set of responsibilities, including personal or family financial issues. For example, widows or widowers may not know how to balance checkbooks because their partners always deal with “money issues.” Sometimes, they may need to find a job or a higher-paying job.
People who have lost a loved one must also pay for credit card accounts, loans, or insurance policies owned by their loved ones. The same is true for investment and retirement accounts.
If possible, postpone any major and permanent financial decisions for at least six months after the death of your spouse or close family member. Consider making a reversible decision.
Grief can be very painful and inevitable, so it is easy to understand the desire to simplify the financial situation now. In other words, you may not think clearly after death. It is usually unwise to react out of fear.
For example, selling your house may free you from reminders from your loved ones, but in the long run, staying there may be more financially beneficial. Likewise, keeping an existing credit card account or a car with a lender’s lien may help you build credibility more quickly.
If you have to make a major decision
Only you know the unique situation you now face after the death of your loved one. If postponing a particular life decision by six months to a year does not seem feasible, please discuss the situation with a trusted friend or confidant.
Often, talking to the people who care about you the most can help you gain a better perspective, and perhaps also help you realize that the situation is not as urgent as you feel.
If you are considering something that will affect your finances, you can also discuss with a trusted friend or confidant, but you should also seek the advice of a professional financial adviser.
In addition, ask yourself if there is any way to make reversible Decide now. For example, instead of selling your house because you now feel the reminder of your loved one is too painful, can you live in another place for a period of time, such as a hotel, apartment, or with friends or relatives? Can you rent your house to others temporarily?
If your job feels stressful, can you arrange to take time off instead of resigning? Or adjust the start/end time of a few weeks? Instead of closing your financial accounts because you feel that you can’t handle everything right now, let a trusted friend or family member help you manage them, or just take care of everything in a few months?
Self-care in sadness
The most important thing you can do is to take care of yourself when you are sad. Grief is hard work and can cause real physical, mental, emotional and spiritual damage to our body, mind and soul.Unfortunately, the old adage “time can heal all wounds” no longer applies after the death of a loved one.
Instead we Gradually Incorporate lost loved ones into our new life, learn to live with the scars in our hearts, but we will never truly forget the dead. Now, trust that you will eventually reach that state, and try to avoid making any major life decisions in a hurry when your sadness feels freshest.