If you have lost a loved one, you may have realized that there are too many emotions and feelings that accompany the unexpected or expected loss of the loved one.
No matter where you are in the grief process, it is important to remember that your feelings are effective and that you are not on anyone else’s timeline in terms of healing.
To understand how people respect their loss while griefing, VigorTip Mind interviewed Frank Anderson, MD, a psychotherapist and psychiatrist who specializes in treating trauma.
This article describes how people deal with the consequences of short-term and long-term losses. It also discusses how to deal with negative memories or feelings of guilt.
How to deal with the direct consequences of loss
Dr. Anderson explained that in today’s culture, the pressure to move on and recover quickly after the loss is usually great. Therefore, he insisted that the goal should not be just to move on and overcome someone.
Remember to show your compassion
It takes time to heal, and when you go through grief at your own pace, you should show patience and grace.
Frank Anderson, MD
When working with people who have suffered losses, my goal is to help them stick to what they need or want to stick to, and give up what they no longer serve or need to stick to.
— Frank Anderson, MD
Let yourself experience various emotions
Research actually shows that instead of focusing on different stages of grief and trying to rush through So stubbornly insisting on these preconceived ideas about what the stage will look like can be harmful, especially for those who don’t think that is their experience.
Dr. Anderson reiterated this suggestion, saying that the goal should be to settle in a calm psychological environment, not to worry about where you think you should be.
Anderson described a fairly common experience of a person dealing with loss: they immediately get full of love and support after the loss, and then experience a sense of isolation when everyone else tends to return to normal.
Remember that healing takes time
Although it is easy to fall into the feeling of needing to move on, it is okay to spend time in grief. Dr. Anderson reiterated that it takes time to deal with all the feelings related to loss, and people should spend as much time as needed to feel comfortable.
He pointed out that he often found himself reminding clients that it was only a short period of time when they expressed their desire to get rid of sadness. “When dealing with sadness and loss, the passage of time is important,” he said.
How to respond after time has passed
Dr. Anderson discussed some of his ways to help clients recover after a period of loss.
In general, Anderson encourages people to embrace memories or dreams that keep coming up, even when time has passed.
“I find that people who are constantly thinking about this person or repeatedly replaying memories or situations related to their loved ones often try to keep these memories alive,” Anderson said.
In this way, he meant that the brain was trying to keep that person’s memory alive. Although this may make you feel unable to get rid of certain things, it may be that your brain is trying to retain memories that bring you happiness.
Anderson also pointed out that if your brain is constantly replaying something, it may mean that it is an important memory that can bring you peace when you recover.
Don’t bury your feelings
Dr. Anderson explained that he encourages his clients to pay attention to their current feelings, which usually leads to recovery. When people do this successfully, people usually feel more effective after actually considering how they feel.
Find meaning in loss
research shows Many people have reached a place of healing after feeling that they have gained meaning and background from the loss. This is especially important when people can allow different feelings to exist at the same time, which means they can accept their grief but still stick to the meaning of the relationship. This can help people get to a place where it is easier to regulate their emotions.
Remember that negative memories are normal
If you feel that you have never gotten along with them because of some personal matters, it will be especially difficult to deal with the loss of someone you love. It is also common for people to repeat everything they could have done to provide them with better mental, emotional or physical support.
Although these things are normal, it is understandable if they make healing more difficult.
“Negative memories or feelings of guilt are also a normal part of the grief process,” Dr. Anderson said. “I help clients explore the origin of these feelings.”
Especially when customers keep repeating what they want them to do, Dr. Anderson said that he is committed to “verify these parts of my customers, let them know that I understand why they feel this way, and gently help them accept our every Individuals feel fragile and truly lack control over the inevitable losses in life.”
Can you really move on from losing someone you love?
Although it is often mentioned about finding meaning after loss, it can be difficult to know exactly what it means.
To help solve this problem, the researchers followed People contact them immediately after losing their loved ones, one year, 13 months, and 18 months after they lost their loved ones.
For their study,They chose to define meaning as the ability to understand the event itself and benefit from the experience. It is important to understand the loss in the first year and can even reduce stress. However, the discovery of benefits is more important in determining a person’s long-term adjustment capabilities.
This definitely supports this idea The ability to gain meaning while still feeling sadness and other emotions is essential to reach a place of healing.
For everyone, the specific progress will be different. This means you can get to a place where you don’t think about them every minute of every day, or even a place where you will feel comforted by the reminder of your lover.
The type of loss is important
The ability to heal also depends on whether the loss is expected or sudden.research shows Sudden loss can cause close family members to experience PTSD, and it may be helpful to consider group therapy. Families who have to take care of their loved ones who have been sick for a long time often face more feelings of helplessness.Mainly because they want to help take care of their loved ones while they are alive.
Very good sentence
No matter where you are in the recovery process, it is important to prioritize your mental health. Healing is never a straight line, and it often makes people feel uncomfortable. Try to avoid comparing your treatment process with other people and their coping strategies.
Let yourself heal at the speed you need. Never feel guilty for seeking help from a mental health professional or your friends and relatives.