Most long-term relationships face serious problems at some point. However, these conflicts do not necessarily mean the end. If handled in a healthy and productive manner, solving your problems can make your partnership stronger.
Don’t end your relationship suddenly, take some time to evaluate the positive things in your relationship. Doing this will prevent you from making decisions that you might regret.
Although it feels that things are not going well, there may be many reasons. So, before deciding to end, take a moment to check your relationship.
This article discusses some of the reasons that are worth fighting for your relationship, such as trust, consistent core values, or the same shared vision for the future, even if you think it’s too late.
Signs that your relationship is worth fighting for
As you read through these signs, consider how you feel about the relationship in general. If most of them apply to you, then you may have a solid foundation.
You trust each other
Trust is one of the key elements of a healthy relationship. It also depends on how partners treat each other. If you notice that overall, your partner treats you well, is trustworthy, and shows up when you need them the most, consider this as a positive sign.
A 2019 Pew Research Center study on American marriage and cohabitation showed that married adults are more likely than cohabitants to say that they trust their spouses to be loyal, act in their best interests, tell the truth, and handle money responsibly .
This highlights that if your trust in your spouse is still strong, then this is a valid reason to try to solve the problem. Trust is the foundation of every good marriage, and you already have this important part.
Starting over with other people will mean going back to the “Can I trust you?” stage, you don’t need to do this with your current spouse.
Your core values are consistent
No matter how much we want to find someone who is perfect in all aspects, in fact, two people will never agree on everything. However, the good news is that as long as there are some commonalities, and most of your core values are consistent-for example, in religion, finance, politics, etc.-subtle differences don’t necessarily break the transaction.
They can actually strengthen your relationship with another person and keep it interesting.
Examples of other core values include:
You share a vision
Another way to understand whether your relationship is worth fighting for is that you all have a common vision for the future. Essentially, this means you want the same things in life.
A typical example is children. If one of you can’t wait to want children, and the other prefers life without children, your vision may not match. Or, if one of you wants to travel the world throughout the year, and the other wants to settle in a small town, then your visions are inconsistent.
Of course, maintaining flexibility and finding a creative way for your two dreams to coexist with each other is essential. Finally, you want to know that you are all living the most fulfilling lives, without regrets, and without too many sacrifices.
You can feel the dedication even in the face of difficulties
Another sign of a healthy relationship is to keep in touch despite any external or internal pressure. In interpersonal relationships, conflicts are inevitable. Psychologist Dan Weir summarized this in his book “After the Honeymoon”: “When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably choose a specific set of unsolvable problems.”
No matter how great the challenge is, you are committed to overcome it together. You see each other as teammates, partners, confidants and sources of support.
If you are both willing to invest the necessary time and energy to resolve any issues, this may be a good sign that you are still on the same page.
You can be who you are
The greatest relationship involves two different people with two different identities. In a healthy relationship, you should have confidence in being yourself. Although the degree of openness and self-disclosure varies from couple to couple, you should never feel that you have to hide certain aspects of yourself or change yourself.
Being transparent and honest with each other can not only help you feel connected between husband and wife, it can also strengthen your trust.
When your partner accepts you because of your identity, shortcomings, and possessions, that is something worth fighting for.
You are different but complement each other
Quarrels and conflicts between people who love each other are normal. Arguing over trivial things is part of every relationship. So what is the effect of these differences?
Sometimes they become the reason why two people are separated. But for others, this forces them to come up with creative solutions that meet the needs of both parties.
If you are very different, but try to work together and compromise, you may eventually learn from each other or experience things you might not experience if you were all the same. As long as you can compromise, this will keep the relationship interesting.
Take some time to ask yourself whether your differences complement each other or do more harm than good.
You are willing to forgive
Forgiveness is essential in any relationship. Although this of course takes time and is a forward process, the key is that you are both willing to forgive each other what happened in the past so that you can fully open your heart to the future.
Get advice from the VigorTip Mind podcast
Hosted by Amy Morin, the editor-in-chief and therapist of LCSW, this episode of “VigorTip Mind Podcast” shares why a second chance can be given. Purple Heart recipient Craig Rossi (Craig Rossi) Featured with Fred.
Follow now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts / RSS
You respect each other
In close, healthy relationships, people respect each other. They will not humiliate or demean each other, but provide support, comfort, and a sense of security. This is the exact opposite of the “toxic relationship”.
Couples can respect each other in many ways. Examples of this could include the following:
- Active listening
- Pay attention to each other’s needs
- Forgive each other
- Create space and time for each other in life
- Show interest in things your partner likes (even if you don’t like them)
- Allow your partner to have independence
- Support and encourage each other
- Express appreciation and gratitude
- Practice empathy
Still have most of the happy moments
When most of the moments you share still feel good, it shows that your relationship is worth keeping up and fighting for.
Yes, sometimes quarrels occur over trivial matters such as housework or finances, but these quarrels will not tarnish all the happy memories you share with each other.
Very good sentence
Over time, it is natural to question your relationship. This does not always mean that you are destined or should not be. Most couples have huge untapped potential, and chances are, so do you. You just need to find those reasons to be together to build a strong and healthy relationship. Once you reach that point, you will be relieved to know that you are stronger than you think.