Most people need a way to vent the challenges they face in life, and it is comforting to know that you have a person who can ask for help in times of difficulty. But sometimes one person does all the comfort and the other person does all the venting.
If you find yourself crying on a shoulder you can always lean on, you may be a little overwhelmed. Although it may be beneficial to help those closest to you through a difficult breakup, challenging work environment, or family problems, if it happens all the time, or if your friend does not return your company, it will quickly refresh you Feeling stressed emotionally and sometimes physically.
Although showing empathy and compassion to others is not a bad thing, taking on others’ problems and absorbing their pressure (while gaining nothing) will eventually exhaust you. Here is what you need to know about emotionally exhausted friends and how to maintain mental health in this relationship.
Signs of emotional exhaustion of friendship
People who are caught up in drama, constant complaints, or emotional breakdowns may be by your side. They seem to suck your energy away and make you feel depressed when calling or spending time together.
Some people immediately know who these people are in their lives. However, if you are not sure if you have a depressed friend, check the list of signs below. You should look for clues in your own reactions and the behavior of your friends.
What you might experience
When identifying a depressed friend, it is important to see how you react when you talk to or spend time with that friend. It may be that this friendship may affect your mental health. Here are some signs that your friend may be depressed.
- Your relationship or friendship is exhausting emotionally and physically.
- You often make sacrifices to ensure that your friends’ needs are met.
- When you talk to friends or hang out, you feel anxious, tired or depressed.
- You are more worried about their problems than your own happiness.
- Your positive emotions towards them begin to disappear.
- You cannot be yourself by their side, or you can review your thoughts and feelings.
- You have no chance to seek their advice or support.
- You no longer like to spend time with them or are afraid to talk to them.
- Your friendship is interfering with other aspects of your life, or you are changing your life to adapt to them.
What you might notice
Maybe your friends seem to have more problems than others. Or maybe your friend is going through a particularly difficult period in their life and seems to be handling it badly. Whatever the reason, if you notice any of these signs from your friend, you may need to stop and consider whether this is a healthy friendship.
- Your friends keep venting to you or seem to be in crisis all the time.
- Your friends never ask how you are or are interested in your life.
- Your friends have endless needs and expectations.
- When you need to vent, your friends will never be by your side.
- Your friend’s problems are always bigger, worse or more extreme than yours.
- When you are not around, your friends will use guilt and manipulation.
- Your friends rarely feel happy for you, and often struggle with jealousy and jealousy.
- Your friends want all the attention and monopolize the conversation.
- Your friend doesn’t know how to move on or let go.
- Your friend has low self-esteem and needs constant comfort.
- Your friend lacks self-awareness.
- Your friends never thank you for your company.
what to do
Empathy and compassion are incredible talents and skills, but sometimes they lead people to take advantage of your kindness and generosity. If this happens to you all the time, it may be particularly energy intensive-especially if you are a highly sensitive person who tends to absorb the feelings and pressures of other people.
No friendship is worth damaging your mental health or happiness. In other words, you may not want to end the friendship completely, especially if your friend’s struggle is temporary. But it is important to protect yourself emotionally. If your friend is depressed, here are some tips.
People need to understand and know that you are by their side. This understanding can take many forms-it can mean a hug, an offer to offer coffee or lunch, a call or text to check in, and a caring and caring support for your friends.
This does not mean solving problems for them, acting as a therapist, giving up everything for them, or taking over what they should do for themselves.
No matter how much you want to help or think you can do something, you need to avoid rushing in to rescue them. People who are chronically unhappy or dramatic may resent your efforts or ask new problems that need to be “solved.”
Your best strategy is to provide support, but put the responsibility back on their shoulders. You can even say: “You are a smart person. I believe you will figure this out and be stronger than ever.”
Although it is easy for a friend to completely rely on the support and advice of another person, such expectations are usually too much responsibility for one person. If your friend repeatedly asks you for advice, has anxiety problems, or shows signs of depression, suggest that they talk to a doctor or mental health professional.
If your friends are dealing with deep emotional pain, it is admirable that you want to be a good listener and compassionate friend, but the best thing they can do is seek professional advice.
Friends can provide comfort and support, but they should not be consultants. Make sure you don’t try to assume a role for which you are not qualified. To be a true friend is to connect your friends with the resources they need.
Empower your friend
Focus the conversation on the needs of your friends and the ways they think they can solve the problem. Although there is nothing wrong with giving advice, in the end they need to make a plan to solve the problems in their lives.
For friends who keep asking you the same questions, please remind them that although you are by their side, you will not feel that you are of much help because they have been complaining about the same things.
Ask them what they think will make things better. The key is to open the conversation and make them realize that they are stuck in the same place and need to consider what the next step might be.
Know your limits
It is important to know what your limits are. Ask yourself how much time and energy do you really need to devote to this friend. This recognition is not insensitive or selfish. Rather, it is about recognizing your self-worth, your limitations, and your priorities.
In the process, you can still become good friends without sacrificing your life. A strong sense of self-worth combined with health restrictions can help you prevent imbalances in relationships. In addition, you should take good self-care for yourself.
Once you realize that your friend is depressed, it is important that you limit the time you spend together. After all, your own mental health depends on it. If you do not want to end the relationship, or if it is a colleague or family member, you need to establish strong boundaries.
For example, if your friend calls late at night, don’t answer the phone, or if you answer the phone, tell them in advance that you only have 10 minutes, and then you have to do other things. After 10 minutes, end the conversation politely and hang up. You may also need to call you at work, show up in your apartment without notice, or establish boundaries on any other line where your friends seem to be crossing the line.
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When you are often with a depressed friend, the best thing you can do for yourself is to offset the stress of your interaction with positive experiences. If possible, try to do something exciting and inspiring.
Choose something that relieves your stress and frees your friends from worries. Examples might include a relaxing bath, a good book, massage, funny movie, yoga class or brisk walking.
The point is that what you do will not make you meditate on your friends’ problems or try to solve their problems. Instead, do things that make you feel loved and cared for. You don’t want the emotional impact of recent conversations to affect the rest of your day or week. You should ensure for yourself that your spirit is as strong as possible.
Consider keeping a distance with yourself
Not all friendships can last forever, it doesn’t matter. If you feel that you are being used in this friendship, and you give more than you give, then it may be time to keep your distance with that friend. This decision may be especially correct if your friend has bad qualities or is an insecure person for you.
In other words, if someone exhausts your feelings emotionally to the point that your life becomes unbearable, you need to realize that this person may not be suitable for your current life. If this is the case, please keep your distance with this friend.
And, if your friend happens to ask you why you stop hanging out, honestly. Gently, let them know that it is difficult for you to support them and become their good friends, which brings you mental pain and pressure.
Don’t blame them for the end of the friendship, and don’t make them feel sad because of the difficult times, but take responsibility for your decisions and choices.
Very good sentence
If you have a friend who is exhausting you mentally, make sure you are taking steps to take care of your mental and emotional health. Although it is important to have empathy and compassion for others, some people use this kindness to wreak havoc on your emotional state.
If this type of friendship sounds familiar, make sure you establish boundaries, practice self-care, and suggest that your friend see a counselor. If you are still having trouble or having trouble taking care of yourself because you are always helping others, you can also benefit from the consultation of a counselor or therapist.