Coping with stress children increase marriage

Sometimes, adding more children can cause marital problems that you might not have anticipated. This is a common experience: You have a wonderful romantic relationship-and then you add your children to it, and everything becomes more stressful, less romantic, and less satisfying.

Adding children to the mix will bring the couple closer, but not always in the way you expect. Although marital problems may be common after the child is born, there are steps you can take to protect your relationship.

Marriage challenges with children

The cruel fact is that a large number of people find that their children cause a lot of stress in their relationships, especially when the children are young.

According to Binghamton University researcher Matthew Johnson in his book, The great myth of intimacy: dating, sex, and marriage, Research shows that this is commonplace. After the first child is born, relationship satisfaction also declines.

This decline in happiness will not disappear until the child leaves the nest, and by that time many couples have divorced or parted ways. Here are some more specific content:

  • When the child becomes part of the relationship, the child will put more pressure on the marriage, and marriage satisfaction will drop sharply. Interestingly, this also happens to unmarried couples, so marriage itself is not the culprit that caused the relationship to become stale.
  • Children put pressure on parents as individuals and couples as a whole. Perhaps not surprisingly, in most relationships, mothers bear most of the parenting responsibilities. It is also not surprising that this kind of pressure hits mothers particularly hard. Most women’s other relationships will deteriorate as they become closer to their children.
  • Children’s stress is common. It is not isolated from certain social classes, or even from a specific country or region in the world.

Parents’ main relationship stressors

There are many factors that affect the decline in satisfaction, and everyone’s situation is different. However, certain stressors are particularly detrimental to relationships and individuals. The following pressure sources are particularly challenging.

Reduce time together

Due to the need for meticulous care and the need for a nanny for any time alone while the baby is awake, couples will naturally find that they spend less time together. When they also have time, they usually don’t have much energy to devote to each other.

When couples have children, they are often surprised by the workload of raising children, and early childhood is also labor-intensive.

This obviously affects their connection because they are not free to have fun spontaneously, or enjoy leisurely days together, even on weekends.

Less time solo

Having children usually means that parents spend less time on themselves. This may mean less time for things like travel and hobbies, but it also means basic self-care, including fitness and relaxation.

When parents sleep too little and have too little time to take care of their own needs (this is often the case with newborns or young children in high demand), they may become more stressed and difficult to stay around. When one or two partners do not perform their best function, especially if this situation persists for a long time, it will affect the relationship.

More requirements for partnership

When the child enters the relationship, the husband and wife need to share the responsibility of caring, Even if both parties agree that most of the work should be undertaken by one parent, while the other is more focused on making money.

This may make people feel that the couple is more like a functional partnership than a romantic partnership, because the couple starts to feel more like roommates than soulmates. Because of these additional requirements and necessary negotiations, conflicts are more likely.

In addition, when partners take on different responsibilities, if they feel that they are working harder, they may feel dissatisfied; if there is no frame of reference for what other partners are dealing with, novice parents are more likely to feel that they should handle things differently Things and so frustrated.

Special cases

Not everyone will encounter the following challenges, but they will bring special pressure to the family. These special circumstances can generate significant additional pressure:

  • A child with a high-demand temperament
  • Family members with health challenges, including physical and mental health problems
  • Extreme financial pressure
  • Lack of practical support from friends, family members or neighbors who can help

What does the child add to the marriage

The good news is that although some studies have shown that marital satisfaction does not increase significantly until the child leaves the nest,Childbirth is worthwhile in other ways.

Children enhance our altruism: Other studies have shown that giving to others and expressing altruism are beneficial to our overall health.Childbirth certainly provides an opportunity to dedicate yourself.

Children reduce the likelihood of divorce: Although new parents may feel less happy, they are also less likely to divorce after their children.This may be because they are more motivated to maintain their partnership for their children, but more commitment can help them get through the challenges they face and keep them connected until happier times return.

The parents themselves say it is worthwhile: Although these challenges may be difficult for a couple to face, almost all parents say the sacrifices they make are worthwhile, and they cannot (or don’t want to) imagine a life without children . They say their children bring meaning to their lives. This can bring significant benefits, because research shows that people who have meaning in life tend to be happier.

Children’s marital problems after treatment

If you are stressed or in a relationship, then you are not alone and you may not have done anything wrong. There are many things you can and should do to protect your happiness and connection with your partner.

Managing the stress you face as a parent can help you maintain the happiness you have and build more positive feelings and experiences from then on.

Although these things may be difficult to do, especially when you feel burdened, they are worth it. After all, marriage problems are a burden in themselves, so taking these measures may help reduce these burdens.

Seek social support

Your partner is not the only one who can help you increase your relationship happiness. Family, friends, and even someone you hire can help you reduce stress and enjoy your time together. Here are some ideas to make things happier.

  • Spend time with your partner and do things together without children.
  • Get support from friends, parents, family or neighbors, etc.
  • Create an emotional support system where you can talk about the difficult aspects of parenting and marriage.
  • Look for ways to reduce social stress, such as competitive parents, unsolicited advice, or your own social preferences.

Practice self-care

It is important for you to take care of yourself and your own needs, not just the needs of your child. It is important to keep your body healthy so that you have enough physical strength and energy to do what needs to be done.

  • Make sure you have enough sleep, even if it means hiring someone to look after your child so you can take a nap.
  • Eat a balanced and nutritious diet.
  • Try to find time for yourself as much as possible. If you can, set aside time to do nothing, but even running errands alone can help.
  • Take time to pursue your favorite hobbies or interests, even if you only have a few minutes a day.

Work to keep balance

There is a lot of discussion about “balance”, but that’s because it is very important for stress management. This means maintaining a balance in all aspects: balancing work and entertainment, balancing your needs with your children’s needs and your partner’s needs, balancing the time away from home and the time spent with your family, and other balances. The following are some important forms of balance that need to be focused on.

  • Strike a balance between your child’s activities, your activities, rest time, and sleep time.
  • Do enough interesting things to create memories, but not too many to make you feel overwhelmed-treat your position honestly.
  • Eliminate tolerance when possible, seek help when possible, and be present when possible.

Focus on your mindset

The way you look at things can greatly affect your relationship and your overall happiness. In this situation, you can focus on maintaining the right mindset in many ways. Any of the following can improve your relationship satisfaction.

  • Remember, difficult moments are temporary and will eventually pass.
  • Enjoy a positive experience.
  • Focus on gratitude.
  • Focus on what you learn from your children and all the ways they enrich your life.
  • Know that it is normal for marriage satisfaction to decline-it is not your or your partner’s fault-but there are many things you can do to increase satisfaction.
  • Keep a regular date night.
  • Find humor in the challenge.
  • Be patient with yourself, your partner, and your children.
  • The family had fun.
  • Maintain friendships with other families and maintain close relationships with family members (if these relationships are healthy).

If you need help, getting help is also important. This kind of help may be in the form of marriage counselors, individual therapists, or even your own nanny who can help relieve some of the stress and make you old again.

Very good sentence

Remind yourself that there may be sacrifices, but it is worth the effort. Enjoying quality time with your partner and children is the best way to ensure that challenges and stress do not affect your relationship. In the end, your relationship and your life are what you make of them.