Shame is an emotion that plays an important role in the lives of people with ADHD. When you feel ashamed, you feel very embarrassed and humiliated about your identity. Shame and guilt are closely linked; although they are slightly different. Shame can cause many problems, including depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol problems. Here are some common reasons why people with ADHD feel ashamed.
The stigma of ADHD
Many people are ashamed of having ADHD. you? When you are ashamed of having ADHD, you will be ashamed of a part of yourself. You try to keep your appearance, so people won’t know your struggles behind the scenes. This can be exhausting and lonely; because you cannot get the support you need, and you cannot feel close to the people in your life. It would be great if you can adapt to ADHD like eye color.
Feel different shame
Many people are ashamed of being different from their peers. Children can feel this more acutely than adults. Children want to blend in with their friends very much. They don’t like things that make them stand out or attract attention. In addition to the behavioral differences that ADHD may bring (such as ADHD), there are other differences in ADHD; for example, making appointments with a doctor or getting extra help at school.
Shame about ADHD behavior
Having ADHD can affect your behavior in various ways; for example: acting impulsively, doing something embarrassing for you, being unable to keep up with the conversation, and then feeling “stupid”. You may be ashamed of your home because it is messy, or you may always forget things. ADHD affects everyone’s behavior differently, but being ashamed of it is a common theme.
Ashamed of your history
Do you often think of past failures and feel ashamed? -What does it have to do with your ex, or your credit card cannot be used, or you ran out of gas on the highway? You may find that your thoughts often return to those memories, each time you relive the shame.
Ashamed of where you are now
A common theme I hear from adults with ADHD is that they don’t like their own life state. They did not reach the milestones they thought they would reach at this age. Maybe you see that your friends have achieved the goals you want in life, which makes you feel ashamed and resentful because you know that you are as smart and capable as them.
Ways to cure shame
Fortunately, there are steps you can take to address and alleviate the shame you may feel.
- Acknowledge that ADHD is a neurological disorder, and many things that make you ashamed are the direct result of ADHD. When you do this, it will relieve you of the blame and shame you have been causing to yourself.
- Learn about ADHD as much as possible through support groups, books, podcasts, and blogs. This knowledge and support will help you understand more than just you. Other people with ADHD have experienced similar things. This can get rid of shame very powerfully.
- Work with a mental health professional experienced in dealing with shame. They can help you deal with the shame in your life. Your doctor may also prescribe stimulant medications, which can minimize many of the symptoms of ADHD and allow you to fully function.
- Change the way you speak to yourself. Compassion can counteract shame. Self-compassion in the form of well-intentioned self-talk (like the way you treat a child or friend) has a positive effect on the body. This step will change your life.
- Write down a list of practical things you can do to reduce shame in your life. For example, if you feel ashamed every time you are late for work, develop a strategy so that you arrive on time.