How to change your self-talk and reduce stress

It is well known in the treatment industry that the negative comments of others can erode our sense of self-worth. Children tend to believe in the negative evaluation of themselves by teachers and parents, and will form a compromised self-concept when they are often criticized.

Researchers estimate that for a relationship to stay healthy and survive long-term, the ratio of positive comments to negative comments must be at least five to one. For these reasons, we are taught not to let others down.

Sometimes, it is ourselves who erode our sense of self-worth and limit our potential.

Yes, our self-talk, or the words we use in our inner dialogue when we think, can increase our stress level, limit our potential, and use negative pens to change our experience. Here are some more detailed reasons why this happens and provide links to resources that you can use to change your mind and turn self-sabotage into self-control.

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Language and color experience

Although it is not clear to what extent this happens, it has been found that the types of words we use can change expectations and even our perception of reality. For example:

  • If someone tells you that a difficult person is a “nightmare to work with you,” you might think that this person is more frustrating than you are told that they are “special” or “a little harsh”.
  • If your dentist tells you: “This will hurt you a lot of,“You may find that a procedure is more painful than you are told that “you may feel some discomfort”.
  • Research has found that people who speak different languages ​​may perceive the same things based on the words their language uses to describe these things. For example, research shows that language affects the perception of color. (People who speak a certain language classify blue and green as different shades of the same color, and they are not as good as English speakers in their ability to distinguish the colors between blue and green.) These effects on the right brain The impact is greater than the impact on the left brain, but the impact is obviously large.

Because it cleverly colors what you perceive and what you care about, negative self-talk can change your stress experience in the following ways.

Increase the perception of stress

When your self-talk is negative, you may feel that things are more stressful. For example, when you tell yourself something is difficult or unfair, it will be more stressful than telling yourself that it is a challenge or even a test.

Using optimistic rather than pessimistic self-talk has the benefits of stress management, productivity, and even health benefits that have been proven by research.


If you say “I can’t handle this”, you probably can’t. This is because your subconscious mind tends to believe what it hears. You can limit your abilities by telling yourself “can’t”, “this is too difficult” or “should not even try.”

Limited thinking

When you tell yourself that you can’t handle something (or some other self-limiting thought), you tend to stop looking for a solution.For example, be careful to tell yourself that you can’t handle something and ask yourself how You will handle some things. Does the second idea feel more hopeful and generate more creativity? Negative self-talk is often a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Stopping negative thoughts and creating habitually positive internal conversations can reduce stress and empower you. Here are some resources to help you turn negative self-talk into positive self-talk.