Habit is any behavior that we often perform, so that it almost becomes an involuntary reaction. If we think this habit is unpopular, then we can mark it as a “bad habit.” People spend countless hours and money every year trying to get rid of these bad habits, but often without any success. why? Because there is no panacea. Change is hard work, and there is no shortcut to achieve it. However, the steps one needs to take can be very briefly outlined. In order to change habits, people need to bring actions back to the realm of consciousness and regain the ability to make choices.
What is the return?
Take a moment to think about the rewards of doing this seemingly negative thing. Since you have classified it as a “bad” habit, you might want to say no. But look carefully. There is always a return. Suppose your bad habit is yelling at your child. What good is it for you? You breathe a sigh of relief and feel better for the time being. Or do you have a bad habit of not washing dishes? The reward may be that you can spend more time on the Internet!
The first step to breaking a bad habit is to see why you find this action so compelling.
What is the trade-off
Next, look at the trade-offs. By exercising your habits, what are you losing? This step should be easier. Think about why you think this is a bad habit in the first place. Yelling at your child is a bad habit because it makes everyone nervous and destroys your child’s self-esteem. You are exchanging temporary tension for your child’s emotional health. Not washing dishes is a bad habit, because your kitchen is a mess. In order to have more time online, you need to sacrifice a pleasant living environment. When you look at it this way, you don’t seem to make a very wise choice, do you? There must be a better way.
It’s time to make a choice!
Now that you have weighed both sides of the problem-your reward and your trade-off-it is time to make a choice. This is no longer an unconscious behavior, because now you know you are making a choice every time you do this. You are choosing what you value more: rewards or trade-offs! Every time you start to make any bad habit, you must actively choose. Which one do you value more? Do you value the relief that comes from yelling at your children more, or do you value their emotional health more? Do you prefer to have more time online or to have a pleasant residence?
Substitute better behavior
The whole reason you formed habits in the first place was that they met the needs. You have tension that needs to be relieved, or you want to go online. When you break the old model, you still need a way to meet these needs. Not only will you actively choose not to do the old action, you will also choose to perform a better alternative action to replace it. Instead of yelling at your child, you may decide to go for a run every time you feel nervous. When you eat alone, you may decide to use paper plates instead of letting dirty plates pile up. It doesn’t matter what the new habit you replace, what matters is whether you are satisfied with the choices you made. After all, the reason you think this is a bad habit is because it makes you feel bad about yourself.
up to you
Now you should realize that the only way to keep bad habits for a long time is to deny you why you do it again. Every time you start to revert to your old mode, this thought will flash in your mind. Every time you perform that action, you are changing X for Y. You will be forced to make a choice, whether it’s good or bad, or continue your habit. What choices will you make? Does it make you feel bad about yourself or does it make you feel good? up to you.