How to reduce the anti-defiant behavior of children with ADHD

When your child often exhibits challenging opposing behaviors, family life can be frustrating and exhausting. But there are some ways to make the situation better. The key is to understand the source of the behavior and be prepared to respond to hostile or provocative behavior.

Studies have even found that 45% to 84% of children and adolescents with ADHD meet the complete diagnostic criteria for oppositional defiant disorder. These children are more likely to disobey their parents, behave aggressively and easily impulsive. They often have difficulty managing and regulating their emotions, and they tend to feel frustrated and angry.

To be able to deal with these behaviors every day, parents need to be prepared. In this way, you can respond to your child’s resistance in a beneficial rather than passive way, and you can avoid saying or doing anything that will exacerbate the hostility between you and your child.

Steps to help reduce child objections

Here are some steps you can take to help reduce your child’s opposing behavior and improve your parent-child relationship.

Self care

It may seem strange to place self-care as the first step in improving your child’s behavior, but if you don’t take care of yourself, raising a child with ADHD can make you feel exhausted, stressed, or depressed. In that state, you are more likely to react to your child in a way that makes the situation worse.

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By keeping yourself strong, you will be better able to help your child.

Delay your response

Even the most patient people can be hurt by defiant behavior. In moments of depression, it’s easy to say things that we will regret. Instead, before reacting, develop the habit of taking a deep breath and counting to 10 (or higher!).

Use the delay to cheer yourself up and carefully consider the best way to deal with this situation. When your son or daughter loses control, he or she needs you to remain calm in the storm.

Good catch your kid

Use praise to shape your child’s behavior. Grab his or her “good”. Mark the positive behavior you see (“Thank you for your cooperation.”). Establish a reward system to reinforce these positive behaviors. It is always more effective to use rewards and incentives before punishment.

Know that for children with ADHD, you may need to use larger and more powerful rewards to help motivate. You may also need to change the reward regularly to keep your child’s interest.

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Have patience and understanding

Sometimes, children who have experienced multiple setbacks or failures will start to hesitate in fear of failure again. In these cases, in order to avoid further harm, the child will naturally respond to objections.

Please pay attention to this coping strategy and make a conscious effort to provide your child with a chance for success. Sometimes tasks that seem simple to us are extremely difficult for children with ADHD. Reward hard work, hard work, and progress instead of just focusing on results.

Provide acceptable options

Offering options can give your child a degree of control over the situation and help encourage compliance. If you think about it, children spend most of their day with instructions from adults. When someone is constantly being told what to do—especially a child who tends to disagree in the first place—he or she may automatically start to argue in response.

Look for situations where children can be empowered by offering choices rather than commands. Therefore, rather than saying “it’s time to do your homework”, try: “Do you want to start your homework now or after eating snacks?”

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Clear expectations

Make clear and consistent rules and make sure your child understands them. State the behavior you want to see, not the negative behavior.

Maintain daily work

All children respond well to daily life. For children with ADHD, a consistent daily life is essential, because knowing what will happen next helps to make things quite predictable and less confusing .

Schedule one-on-one time

As parents, we often play the role of enforcers, but it is also important for us to be with our children on a regular basis-to listen, enjoy and relax together. Try to arrange a special time.

Children with ADHD often experience negative social interactions due to provocative opposing behaviors. More active activities with you can have a powerful impact on their overall behavior.

When to communicate with your child’s doctor

If opposing behavior becomes problematic, be sure to talk to your child’s doctor. It is important to ask for help and support, especially when things start to feel like they are unraveling. With support, you can start to make changes to help your child achieve greater success and make family life more satisfying.